"I'm a big kid now!"

So, apparently I'm an adult now. Or, at least, this is what I've been told. I guess this has something to do with the fact that I'm graduating in May and am waiting to here back from Teach for America to see if I have a job. If I didn't make it, I'll be in the same boat as most people in my year at school, not really knowing what form of employment I'll have after graduation. This means I'll be going to numerous job interviews, which led me to buying a suit.

Yup. It's official; I own a suit. I'm grown.

Not just one, but TWO suits. I bought them on this crazy awesome sale at the Deer Park Tanger Outlet Mall last Saturday. It seemed silly to just buy one when for the same amount I could buy two. I need to get them hemmed and one of the jackets altered, so you could say it's not quite official yet, but we're getting' there.

Also, prompted by my mom, I've decided (as I'm now a grown up) I should get some perfume. Now, I'm not one to be wearing cosmetics in general, but there's something so supremely feminine and womanly I find about perfume. The right perfume, that is. The only perfume I've ever used has been this scent a friend of mine bought me at a perfume factory in France when she was visiting family. It's really nice, but a bit too juvenile for my tastes now. Thus, I spent about an hour in Sephora's the other day, spraying about thirty-five different fragrances on those little sample tabs. I was in completely new territory. It was pretty daunting to be faced with all those bottles, not having a clue what I was looking for. I came up with a strategy of first going for the bottles that were nearly empty; to me, that meant that lots of people had tested it, either because they liked it or had been told it was a good scent. A lot of them really stunk. For the ones I liked, I wrote down their name and price on the tag, then looked them up on-line for a better deal.
It seems I'm on my way to not only looking, but smelling like a woman.

"Just click your heels three times..."

I spent a lot of today around Columbus Circle in Manhattan today, that lovely part of Midtown that sits quite awkwardly after Lincoln Center and before Times Square and smells distinctly of hot sauce and horse. Somewhere between being asked by Scandinavian twenty-somethings if I wanted a ride in their rickshaw (no pun intended), I was able to appreciate the true beauty of this area. A lot of wonderful things sit here, like the Moma (even if they decided to hike their prices up a year and a half ago, I still need to give them props) and Ricky's (a New York chain icon). The monument smack in the center of Columbus Circle itself is actually quite beautiful (if you ever take a minute to just look at it, that is).

Yes, Columbus Circle is one of those quintessentially New York City locations, (I mean, it was even in Enchanted), managing to be so the money and not even know it and not even give a crap because it has too many other things to be doing while you stand there and take up space!

:sigh: There's no place like home.

One slight anomaly to this neighborhood is the Time Warner Building. This Trump masterpiece houses office buildings, a sound studio and a high-end shopping mall on the bottom three floors. What makes the shopping center odd, though, is the fact that there's a Whole Foods in the basement. Stranger still, there's a Borders Books front and center on the second floor. Thanks to these few mid-range shopping destinations, the Time Warner Building attracts tons of different kinds of people, allowing folks like me to walk past Coach and Pink and act like I'm supposed to be there. In being a total anomaly, the Time Warner Building actually manages, like Columbus Circle, to be quintessentially New York, welcoming Diamond Dogs and Urban Slummers to dwell in the same halls.

"I really learned it all from mothers." *

Lots of women I know have mother-daughter days out about town, shopping and getting facials. My mom and I certainly like to get our shop-on together, but more often than not we tend to have mother-daughter days in. I'm proud to say that my mom is the person who first taught me how to loaf around; stay in your pajamas all day, watch three movies in a row, eat sugary snacks and drink warm beverages, loafing. We had one of those days today. Normally, the day after Christmas we like to go to the mall to get in on all the super sales happening. This year, however, we decided to switch it up, opting to check out the new Tanger outlet mall in Long Island and stay in for today. As I wrote yesterday, now that I'm starting to feel healthy, I'm able to enjoy loafing around.

The highlight of the day was, without a doubt, brunch, for which I made myself an omelet, bacon and a fried tomato. The day was consumed with planning our shopping adventure for tomorrow. We have a mall map, a route plotted, driving directions, shopping lists, and (perhaps most importantly) coupons. It is on. As usual, the day was topped off by a cup of tea, made even better by some tiramisu. Life is sweet. Thanks for teaching me how to taste it, mom.

* Dr. Benjamin Spock

"And to all a good night!"

As this Christmas comes to a close, I'm given a chance to reflect on how this was a rather odd holiday for me this year. Normally, I'd spend the day at my aunt's house with family in Long Island. Being as ill as I've been the past few days, though, I decided it was best I stay home and continue recuperating. While it was a bit lonely at a few points through out the day, I actually quite enjoyed myself. You see, I'm someone who prizes her solitude. Since I've been home and sick with my parents off from work, solitude is something that has been greatly lacking in my life. So, I guess the best gift I got today was just to be left alone. I don't mean that in a Scrooge, “Bah-humbug” sort of way, (although you should try it sometime, it is fun to say), but in an “O! The cleverness of me!”* sort of way.

Today was really the first day I didn't have any halting coughing attacks, (Mmm, sexy), I thought about what I really wanted to do.

Dance. It. Out.

I don't think there's a day that goes by where I don't have at least fifteen minutes of dancing. With my parents constantly hovering over me and my lungs about to collapse, this hadn't really been possible to do until today. I broke my dance fast with Gopher Mombo by Yma Sumac. Give it a listen. You will be wigglin' in your seat.

Next, I sat down to actually enjoy a couple of movies without having to stop ten minutes in to hack up a lung and go through a quarter of a tissue box. Rather than going for some old standards, I decided to check out a few flicks I'd been meaning to see but hadn't had a chance to. First on the gamete was THX 1138 (1971), a sweet sci-fi number directed by George Lucas. Oh yeah. Quality. Next, I figured I'd stick with the theme of futuristic distopia and directors named George, so I watched Things to Come(1936). Allow me to say, George Orwell knew his shit. Pardon my French. Okay, actually no pardons. I meant it!
When the folks got home in the evening I was treated to the finest of left-overs. I topped it all off with a hot cup of tea while the three of us watched The Incredibles (2004) on tv. God bless us, everyone.

Indeed it was a good Christmas.

* Peter Pan, by JM Barrie

So sick of this

Every winter, I realize that I had forgotten how cold it actually gets. Just like in summer, I forget how hot it gets. Similarly, every time I get sick, I seem to have forgotten just how much it sucks to be sick. I had the fortune to get sick right when I arrived home for the holidays. This is why I haven’t been updating as much as I said I would. I don’t call this fortune because I’m sick, but because it’s way better to be sick at home that to be sick at school. There I’d still be stuck in final exams and eating sub-par dining hall cuisine. Here, at least I get to be spoiled rotten by my parents who miss me and feed me home-made chicken soup. Plus, on top of everything, I get to have my bed.

I used to love being home sick when I was in high school. It meant I was allowed to a) miss school, and b) stay home alone. My favorite sick activity of the time was watching Jerry Springer. I don’t normally watch it, but when I’m feeling really crappy it’s one of the few things that makes all my problems seem insignificant. Now that it’s the holiday season, the great thing about being home sick is, without a doubt, the Bond-a-thon on Spyke tv. It makes me that much more satisfied to shake my cough syrup, (as opposed to stirring it).

Oh yeah. I’m so cool.

déjà vu

This feels like déjà vu. It’s certainly been a while since I last posted, but with winter break on the horizon, I feel you have a good month worth of posting to look forward to.

I had a similar, very odd feeling of déjà vu this morning as I ate my breakfast. As I was eating a clementine and watching the beginning of After the Wedding (a film I need to finish watching tonight before its due back tomorrow), I had the strangest feeling of being back in Bristol. I realized that this is because what I was doing (eating a breakfast of clementines and watching a movie) was ma routine for most of my time there. Before I began my day, I usually had enough time to watch movie or a few episodes of a television show. It was a pretty sweet deal. I got to catch up on a ton of movies I’d mean meaning to watch. They were mostly classics. I’m glad to say my cinematic references expanded quite a bit.

Right now, as I finish my 7th round of college exams, (7/8th of my undergraduate degree completed!), I’m realizing probably won’t get to loaf around like that again for a very long time. So, in spite of appearing like a bit of a lazy bones recluse for five months, I’m looking at that time as fuel for the years of work ahead of me until I reach retirement or become a professional writer, whichever comes first. I’m aiming for writing picture books for children. Writing. Not illustrating. I’ll leave that to someone with more talent and time of their hands.

The BIG one.

Let me begin by stating that I had every intention of coming to the library to do work. I did. I brought all my work, headphones, caffeine, water, snacks, my lap top (the very thing I'm typing on right now).

Let me continue by stating that certain foods constitute library snacks while others don't. Nilla wafers: library snack. Chicken masala: Not library snack. Generally, the unspoken rule is that anything with a particularly strong odor capable of distracting other library patrons from their work should be left at home. Sorry pizza. Adios tacos. Why then am I left here to endure the savory aroma of something very much like a meat ball hero? Who does this person this she is that she can just do that? At least I'm full. I suppose things could be that much worse if I were hungry. Then the smell would be taunting me.

Let me further state that I have severe doubts about being able to hold out here and complete all the work I was intending to do. Having just completed a major assignment this morning (which isn't even due until the end of this week) I've convinced myself that I deserve a bit of a break. I'm contemplating a nap back in my room at some point...

No! I must stay strong. What would become of the world if people gave into the temptations of meat ball heroes and naps? Nothing would get done. Well, a lot of sleeping and eating would get done, I suppose, but that hardly seems productive.
Productive. Produce. I must produce. Continue producing.

I saw the Disney film WALL-E over Thanksgiving. Several friends had been telling me to watch it since it came this past summer, but I never got around to it. Finally, last Wednesday my parents and I decided to sit down and watch it. It's one of the few movies we've all watched together all the way through. I loved it but I found myself so completely depressed by the whole first half hour of the film. Several times I was near the point of tears. While the end (the credits especially) was extremely hopeful and optimistic, everything up until that point was a classic urban dystopia, the kinds of stories I'm addicted to even though they keep me up at night.

What if it's true? What if I'm destined to produce and produce without any real purpose to my production?

What will I produce? How can I be sure it holds meaning?

I guess the big question is: Does all THIS mean anything?

I'm not sure how I got from the library to THE question. You'd think I could find the answer here, among this vast collection of human knowledge.

Whatever. So long as you keep reading, I'll keep producing. I guess that means something.