Sunday, May 31, 2009

F8


I don't use you. Ever. So how is it you've come loose? It makes no logical sense. I thought that if any key were to go rogue it would be one I use all the time, one that's gotten worn down. Maybe a vowel or the letter N. But no. It was you, F8, that came apart from my key board. I appreciate that you snapped back into place after some effort, but really, let's keep these shenanigans to a minimum. Okay?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Live Long and Prosper (you sexy, sexy Nerd!)


In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a total nerd. Like, WAY big nerd. Maybe because of this, I often get really excited when people come out of their nerd closets or I learn they too are exceptionally huge nerds.

Recent nerd out of the closet: Karl Urban.

In interviews about his role as Dr. Lenard “Bones” McCoy in the new Star Trek movie, he repeatedly revealed that he is a total nerd. Karl Urban is a Treker. I know! I was surprised and exhilarated to learn this, too. The world could use another hot nerd.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Life After (stupid) People


There is a new show on The History Channel that I absolutely can't stand. It's called Life After People. It's based off of a two hour special that aired last year that was pretty successful. I have to admit, I watched the special and a couple of the show's episodes because I like the ideas it explores. The show seeks to investigate how long the remains of human civilization will last without humans to preserve them and how human-made landscapes with morph over time. It examines how and why structures and materials deteriorate and decay. As Spock would so aptly put it, “Fascinating.”

My beef is with the show's tone.

The music, shots, narrator and graphics are meant to portray a world without humans as creepy. It seeks to unsettle its viewers with the idea that the elements are really far more powerful than anything humans can create. Okay, maybe it's just me, but I think that portraying nature as invading and sinister is just plain wrong. Get over it folks; the Earth was here before Us and it will be here after Us. Perhaps the most horrifying example of this show trying to scare people was in a segment about Hashima, Japan, an abandoned mining city that stands of an example of “life after people.” The showed a shot of a rusted jungle gym with the distorted sound of children laughing, as if the very souls of the children who used to play there still haunt it, as if Mother Nature killed them. (Note: The mining company actually relocated all the residents of Hashima, so those kids all went on living somewhere else in Japan. In fact, they even had one of the former residents, who grew up in Hashima, on the show.)

There's also the fact that some of the stuff they talk about on the show is obvious. Just in case you didn't know, without people to replace light bulbs and run power grids, Times Square will be dark! (cue spooky radio frequency sounds).

This show has successfully shown that nature is out to get Us. It's just another great example of how people can take a great idea, chew it up, digest it, and crap it onto television.

Monday, May 25, 2009

(4 years x $80 K) + grossest garment ever= dangly strands


As I’m now a college graduate I’ve now got a wealth of prestige and resources at my hands, or so I’ve been told. Most magnanimous and prestigious of all these resources has got to be my cap tassel. Before you graduate from college, your tassel hangs to the right. After you graduate, you flip it to the left. After take it off your cap, it can hang anywhere! Right now mine is hanging from my closet door. This little set of silk strands has a infinite number of uses and is, without a doubt the most valuable result of my four years of blood sweat and tears, not to mention about 80k in tuition. Here are only a few uses:

1. Cat toy
2. Rearview mirror ornament
3. Harujuko hair decoration
4. Permanently attach it to a hat you will actually wear
5. Tie it to a ceiling fan chain
6. Hang it on your porch to tell which way the wind is blowing
7. Use it as a tail on a very small kite
8. Tie it to a key you need to quickly identify (hey, it worked until the 18th century)
9. Use it to identify a high ranking officer in a military you’ve created
10. Use it to tie back a curtain
11. Cross pollinate flowers

The possibilities are ENDLESS!