I find myself in a bit of an awkward situation. My parents want me to be dating a friend of mine. There are several issues I have with this. 1) Eeew. I don’t like the idea of my parents being involved in my romantic life. 2) I’m not physically attracted to this person. 3) It’s not just my parents. Apparently my other friend’s mom and a couple of my friends think we should be together.
It’s rather frustrating that this thought had been planted in my head. This person whom my parents want me to be with (we’ll call him Person X) is actually someone I used to practically be in-love with. He had a girlfriend at the time, so I never pursued him. We remained good friends but never anything more. When I went away to school absence made my heart grow fonder. I always looked forward to seeing him whenever I could when I was home telling myself that there was no point in wanting him. About a year and a half ago, I learned that he had broken up with his girlfriend a few months prior. This reawakened my crush came back with a vengeance. I stewed in this until we saw each other again later that year. What I found when we finally saw each other again, though, was that I was no longer attracted to him. Was it because I could finally go after him? Or was it his recently receding hair line? I’m guessing it was the superficial latter reason as nothing else about him had changed.
Further frustration comes when I try to understand why I’m no longer attracted to him. I don’t want to believe I’m as shallow as I think I am (though I probably am), so I wonder if maybe it has something to do with how hard I worked to get over him. I think about how comfortable I am with him and get even more frustrated; it would be really convenient for me to like him. He fits my life like an old shoe. But I’m not sure I’m ready for an old shoe in my life yet. I do so love stilettos.
It’s rather frustrating that this thought had been planted in my head. This person whom my parents want me to be with (we’ll call him Person X) is actually someone I used to practically be in-love with. He had a girlfriend at the time, so I never pursued him. We remained good friends but never anything more. When I went away to school absence made my heart grow fonder. I always looked forward to seeing him whenever I could when I was home telling myself that there was no point in wanting him. About a year and a half ago, I learned that he had broken up with his girlfriend a few months prior. This reawakened my crush came back with a vengeance. I stewed in this until we saw each other again later that year. What I found when we finally saw each other again, though, was that I was no longer attracted to him. Was it because I could finally go after him? Or was it his recently receding hair line? I’m guessing it was the superficial latter reason as nothing else about him had changed.
Further frustration comes when I try to understand why I’m no longer attracted to him. I don’t want to believe I’m as shallow as I think I am (though I probably am), so I wonder if maybe it has something to do with how hard I worked to get over him. I think about how comfortable I am with him and get even more frustrated; it would be really convenient for me to like him. He fits my life like an old shoe. But I’m not sure I’m ready for an old shoe in my life yet. I do so love stilettos.
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